A lot…a lot…a lot

I began the observation day by watching Alexander Whitley’s rehearsal; it’s amazing how much can be accomplished in so little time. The problem with observing is how easily one gets sucked into a particular room. I was quite mesmerized in Alex’s group space. I began free writing and thought I could share with you (the virtual audience) what spewed out as I simultaneously watched and wrote.

Every body part has a distinct role and purpose, there is no superfluous expression in this space. Every movement and gesture has an intention and I’m not sure how Alex conveyed this so eloquently to his dancers in such a short period of time. I see clarity- the movement itself is not ‘uncertain or waiting’ for me personally, but in it’s assured execution there is a beginning hint of the consequences of pending uncertainty or instability. The embodiment itself communicates something beyond the force of the movement’s stability; it’s as if there is a fear of waiting, like to continue and assert oneself is to avoid the negative aspects of uncertainty. I think perhaps the breath is key in this embodiment, the dancers seem breathless, this keeps my own body on edge in awe and in hope as I watch them.

What is our relationship with uncertainty in this project in particular? I think it originates in the exchanges with language, cultural subtleties, and body habits. We think we are uncertain of how to interact with each other and therefore, sometimes, we act according to these thoughts of possible uncertainty. We worry that we are being too informal or too formal. We wonder if our jokes are undertsood or whether a casual smile is seen as crossing a boundary. We listen to the tone of a voice and try to guess whether it suggests approval or dissatisfaction; eventually making conclusions that possibly fit with our own desires. We decipher the deeper meanings of an email or the raise of an eyebrow. We guess if our voice is overbearing or our laugh is too jolting.  The day to day operations of a multi-cultural endeavour such as this project involves much ‘uncertainty’ and much ‘waiting’, so the theme fits quite aptly. However, I find the spaces in between the questions and in the midst of the periods of waiting to have the most rich textures; this is where the juicy-ness dwells.

Such self imposed uncertainties are the most interesting because one has to question what is the value in these dwellings, these ruminations? Maybe they lie in the human desire to distinguish right and wrong, beautiful and ugly, chaotic and stable, certain and not…. waiting… waiting… perhaps once we can relinquish such dichotomies a fear of simply existing – with all the unpredictable dimensions of our experience – will dissipate. Can we find the moment of waiting and stillness and being unsure within ourselves and can we discover power and strength within it? How, how, how can we reach an acceptance of all the dualities we are up against especially in the realm of grey? What does dance or live performance or the body provide us with that helps us cope with the unknowns? Can we dive head first into uncertainty without needing to know there will be someone to rescue us?

Quote of the day:

‘Day 1 we worked so hard physically. Yesterday we talked a lot, a lot, a lot!!… almost 3 hours. I want to know what they are thinking about. I want an interaction, a relationship.’ – Yao Shu Fen

Gesture of the day:

Dancer giving the sign of the cross before executing a risky movement (in jest)

Clip of the day: